Where are my tears?

Tags

fears, Poem, sadness, Tears

I promised myself tears,
I promised myself pain
I failed to uphold my fears
I didn’t even cry in the rain

What went wrong? What snapped?
Have the circuits all gone awry?
I always thought I would feel trapped
I always thought I’d endlessly cry

The memories no longer bring an ache
A smile, sometimes, a chuckle too
Wasn’t I supposed to crack and break?
Unable to know what I should do…

Why this clarity? Why this peace?
Forevermore an agony erased
Why didn’t the world end, but is at ease?
Why isn’t this the worst I have faced?

Death, thy gloomy hands don’t hold
Power over me anymore, anymore
I promised myself tears, but behold!
Today’s just another day, like before…

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Desperation

Tags

Poem, sadness

It howls, it keens,
it weeps, and screams
It pesters, and festers,
Like all bad dreams

It rages and blows
To hit on the nose
But steady is the foe
And only it doth know

How much bravery, to summon
To stand, though it does so shake
In shivering cold, as the demon
Doth a thousand faces make…

It’s desperation, clearly seen
As it fails and fails some more
I can feel it’s anger, there I’ve been
As the wind tries to slam a revolving door…

Tags

Family, Poem, Poetry, sadness

Family, that never talks,
Never holds hands, or walks
Family that doesn’t cheer
Family, that’s never here

Ego, and pride, those bubbles inflated
A pinprick of time, it is but fated
Will end that sojourn, and none but our own
Are left to call upon, ’tis a fact well known

Not all mothers love, some drown in despair
Not all fathers are equal, or loving or fair
For words, a few words, and a caress to spare
But no, they won’t, they couldn’t even dare

For what pride doth give, God taketh away
And no gold, nor silver can manage to sway
Time, it’s gushing flow, forwards to eternity
And what greed giveth, doth taketh away insanity

My soul is but coal…

Tags

Poem, Poetry, sadness, Soul

Indistinguishable, my only soul,
From a black piece of coal
Black, like the darkest night,
Deprived, yet full of might

My tears, they sizzle, upon this rock
No normal tears they be, and still
Concealed, within, with an unassailable lock
Are memories, of what was an iron will…

The passage of time, the burning sensations
Of wonderful days, in tiny concentrations
Continue to burn, this coal all this day
Yet diminished it is not, it does not turn grey

Indistinguishable, it was from cotton clouds, white
The sight of it, oh ’twas a lovely sight
But time, leaden time, moving yet still
Turn’t it to coal, with sadness to fill…

Time Turner

Tags

sadness, Time turner

Never having seen the sky, filled end to end
With stars, the Milky Way, like sand in the skies
Never having felt, the warmth of a hug, at night
Or of tears, as the stories flowed from your eyes…

Never had days, when a smile, was returned with a smile
When I could laugh, and talk and sing for a while
I never felt wanted, never felt loved…
I only felt the weight of the guilt you shoved

On my shoulders, young, yet wanting, weak
If only I had a time-turner, oh, but once
I’d use it, and many years past I would seek
To ask you, why you bothered to put up these fronts?

What reasons could possibly exist, to deny
Some love, some life, to me, once even, why?
That time-turner, ‘twould be the one weapon I’d want
To have one chance, live the life I cant…