Apart from the many, many, many days and nights getting kicked in all the wrong places, sleeping in awkward positions, almost crying out to a higher power to deliver my soul from this existence and other inanities, what have I learnt?
I have learnt that there is such a thing as looking for beauty in the tiniest of things. There is peace and quiet in the heartbeat of a moment when you finally fall asleep after hours of exertion. There is so much love in one little smile, one little word, one little curve of an eyebrow.
I have learnt of the tears I am capable of shedding at every inopportune moment, and the ferociousness I am capable of exhibiting when the occasion calls for it. I am almost in the process of learning when it is okay for me to be angry, and when I need to just shrug and say “Okay, she’s just a kid… I’ll break her legs when she’s older…Maybe..”
I have learnt that food, or the lack of it, does nothing to diminish your enthusiasm, and you still find boundless energy in the universe to power your inquisitive and sensitive exploration into this wonderful world.
I have seen with my own eyes, the cutest smile, the cutest frown, and the quick words and reactions to different stimuli, and wonder at who taught you these things. I wonder at how you manage to wrap each and every one in the household around your little finger with your authoritative stance and bullish nature, and yet be such a sweet little angel. I wonder, and I will continue to wonder at your inherent nature, and wonder still if I ever had that same innocence, and if I did,what the hell happened to me?
The songs I have learnt for you, the emotions I feel when i watch your eyes slowly droop towards sleep in peace when I sing them to you, and your cute insistence on my singing another song when I start on the one you asked for in the first place…all make me so happily frustrated! (For your information, we have sung ‘kannan thumbi poramo’, and ‘aayiram kannumai’ atleast hundreds of times…)
As a father, nothing makes me prouder than when you say, “I love Papa more…”, but I have also seen the worry in your eyes when you miss your mother for more than a few minutes. When you said that you actually belong to both of us equally, I learnt that God sent us all in this world to love everyone equally. We somehow manage to screw and skew it all up for purposes as yet unknown…
What wisdom have I gained in the last two years? I have learnt that being a father is seriously no mean task (Thanks to my own Daddy!), and that I am seriously lucky to have you with me to show the way… For what better way to learn than from an Angel sent from God?
You, my dear daughter are the purest form of love I have ever experienced and my dearest jewel. Thank you for coming into my life… 🙂